Self: How to Gain Confidence and Stop Feeling Deflated
Oct 27, 2020
I love, love, love my mornings when I read exactly what I need to read for the day, or have a really awesome journaling session, or listen to the exact right podcast! It leaves me feeling fabulous, confident, ready to conquer the day!! And then...
I see something on social Media that deflates me in some way
Or, I go out into the world, and something not so great happens. Not life threatening, just some crap that happens, and that deflates me in some way
Shoot, sometimes, after that, I get into a fight with my significant other, which maybe Is absolutely my fault, but heaven forbid I acknowledge that on the get go, and that deflates me in some way
All of those above (and more!) have happened to me. A LOT. I’d read all the good things, I’d journal all the good things, I'd have my abundant moments...but something would happen that would bring all my old stories, all the negative thought patterns around, and then poof...deflated.
Why? Cause thinking and looking outside of myself was more of a priority to me than thinking inside of myself. I allowed the outside world, and all the stories I'd learned, all the false beliefs I developed about myself, to take over.
Thinking about my Own Self was only an option when I was in the "zone" of personal development, but not outside of it
Do you ever feel like that? You do something to put your mind in the Abundant, the right, zone, and then, life? Then...all this other stuff around you that you've let get into your mind and cause these crazy thoughts? You start off strong, only to be deflated not even five minutes after?
That's the big thing with your mindset: it's not, "I'm super good while I read this or write that, and that's it." It's not just change WHILE you're doing the good things...
It's change that you choose to take with you, and BE, every minute of every day
And that’s the thing, right? It’s hard to find yourself and what you are, what you want, who you want to be, and KEEP those thoughts of your Self
But really: you are in a relationship with your SELF first and foremost. Whatever you want on the outside will come when you are completely loving, accepting, and forgiving of yourself on the inside
It all starts with developing, thinking, feeling, and LIVING in your Core Values
These are the basis of who you are, what you want to be, how you want to behave, and the principles that you apply to your life
They're the road map toward you consistently feeling, being, thinking, and knowing your true, authentic self
Your foundation for everything that makes you the awesomesauce YOU!
Every big (and small!) business has its core values if you look; how they operate in the world, and what you can expect from them
What do you expect from yourself? How do you want to experience the world? What's the actual truth in situations where you find yourself feeling deflated about outside things in life?
When you KNOW what you want to believe, stand for, and have, you can start to think more on those lines in everything, and that becomes your center. That becomes your strength.
So, when the deflating thoughts start to creep in, you wont feel those as hard, for as long, because you know the truth of who it is you really are
That's how important Core Values, your SELF, are in creating the confidence, the abundance, and the validation you're looking for
What are your Core Values? Who you want to be, do, have? And, I don't mean for others to like you, or to get something you feel like you don't have right this moment...
What are the Values you want to truly live YOUR life around, just for you?
You can google core values—there’s about 18485858 of them out there! And holy guacamole, that’s a lot, right?
Kind of like the outside world: that's a lot, too. But, the beauty of deciding on your Core Values is that they are YOURS. They're about bringing you love, security, and self esteem to and for yourself, so that you can be what you want to be, give what you want to give, to the world.
So, when you look up the bajillion Core Values to figure out yours,
Bring that big list down to 3-5 that really resonate for you. It may start with a huge long list, but narrow it down to 3-5
How do you know when it's YOURS?
When you read the word and you feel lightning in your veins; you feel it in your heart, like you've sprinted 100 meters. You feel it in your core. Your body and mind and heart literally say to you, "that's the one."
It took me awhile to create my own, because a lot of words actually go together. But, when it came down to it,
My core Values are abundance, opulence, relationships, action, and fun.
So, no matter what, those are the fibers of my being. Those are what I want to stand out for me In the world. All of that, most especially Abundance, are what I want to give...to the world, of course. But also, to myself. Even when I feel deflated
It's much, much easier for me to take all of these throughout my day now. Do I snap into some deflating moments? Of course! We're all human.
However, knowing my Core Values, I can snap right back into who I actually am. I not only think about these things, but apply them to my entire self through emotions and feelings
That's the kicker: you find your Core Values (the ones that speak to your heart, literally!) so that you always know your true, authentic self
So, what are your core Values? Even if you don’t feel like you are “that” yet—if you WANT that to be a part of you, it can be
Let's say confidence is something you want, but you don’t feel it yet; but, that word sets your soul and mind on fire. If you're feeling that, that's one of your Core Values
Then, you can start to think about how you can take little, itty, bitty steps daily toward being more confident, through the reading and the writing and whatever else you're doing
All the personal development stuff will start to make even more sense to you!
You'll create your Self more when you do this; so when the deflated thoughts come...they quickly go away
What are your Core Values? I'd love to hear about them!
And, always remember, you're awesomesauce